dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
