..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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