these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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