i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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