How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
