Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
