well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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