I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I queefed so loud it echoed.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
