Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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