I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
