I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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