every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
