I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So squirting runs in the family.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
