Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
too bad you live with your parents still
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
