I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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