I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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