yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
