your room smells of hookers.
And success
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
