and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
