I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
