WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
