She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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