I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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