Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
