would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
