Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize