ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he puts the penis in happiness.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
