there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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