I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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