No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
