Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
