did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
time to smoke my breakfast
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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