Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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