Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
