my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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