my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize