God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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