Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
