I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
