no you cant smoke seaweed
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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