You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
