Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
