people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
operation have a gay friend backfired
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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