he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
