sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
zippers are such a cool invention
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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