is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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