you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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