the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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