i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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