Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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