I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
