Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
