yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
