i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
