I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
did i walk over a car last night?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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