I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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