I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
