Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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