I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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