you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
