i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
