Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
someone owes me an orgasm
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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