He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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