please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize