My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
