i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
