why didn't you poke me back
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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