My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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