Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
