You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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